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Friday, December 14, 2001
Reality bites, eh?
00:39
Thursday, December 13, 2001
How to feel like you're in an art film: Stand in a quiet room, a few inches away from a blank white wall. Press your forehead against the wall so you can hear your breathing loudly. Hear a clock ticking behind you. Feel existential angst.
19:12
Update: My paper is about compassion, and whether compassion is directed at that which matters to you personally or at that which attracts your interest. But no matter what, I keep coming back to this awful wall, that you feel compassion towards what you care about. Well, no kidding.
19:10
Update: Meh. Rainy gray day, paper to write, ran along the lakefill.... 32 minutes without getting near death-- yay. Time for a nice shower and lunch at the deli.
14:27
Wednesday, December 12, 2001
Me? Indecisive?: "I decided to send you an e-mail so you didn't have to deal with a teary phone call from me. Unfortunately I won't be able to work for you this summer. The original answer I'd given was the one that I'd worked out with my parents and family, but my impulsive phone call changing my mind was my own desire to intern with F&W overriding the many hours of discussion." -- an unsent e-mail I just found, re: my summer internship in Cincinnati
14:10
Quote, courtesy Shalini: "To them we are like bubbles. They know if they turn away and ignore us, we will soon pop and be gone."--Xie Yan, on how officials in China's Chengguan township regard those with AIDS
13:57
Ready Steady Cook.Thank you, green gabbro, for linking to this. I wasn't sure if the show really existed, or if it appeared in some transcontinental flight-induced hallucination. Those from my high school trip to Wales will remember the joy of watching it on the plane over, between bits of sleep, as our introduction to European television.
01:18
Random thoughts: Things are good. How long will good things last this time? And why do I torture myself with wondering? I used to be much worse... obsessively wondering. I'm a control freak at heart -- a closet perfectionist -- and not being able to control the world, the future and those around me always put me on edge. I'm a lot more accepting of whatever comes along now... but still, I wonder. Mostly it's just that I get rattled easily by change. And I always think that if I can spot change coming, I can prepare for it and handle it better. This is probably not true.
01:08
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Hmmm: When I see something on my carpet that might be a bug, I step on it just in case. Time to clean my room.
18:15
Update: Chicago at Christmas is such magic. It's definitely possible to be all jaded about the commercial aspect, but it's much more fun to be awed by the little white lights and window displays. And then go home before you start thinking too much. Jon, Tara and I had dinner downtown at Marshall Field's, where I tried to remember the days when department stores had that shiny-perfume-proper mystique about them, when I was a little kid and the grown-up world was oh-so-desirable. We ate dinner under the big Christmas tree with the fake presents, ordered spiced drinks without being carded, and watched a teenager with bright orange hair wipe dust off the fake presents inquisitively. We speculated about what the staff puts in the fake presents just for kicks: Copies of Hustler? Then we looked in all the window displays... there were two levels of meaning working in the text of the display. One level was the fake people. The other was the fake mice. The mice lived under the people's floor and were approximately 1/3 the people's size. They also lived on a turntable. Jon: "How inconvenient!"
13:30
Sunday, December 09, 2001
And would you look at this. I actually *am* the Art Test in Which Online Personality Test Are You?. Just had to let you all know that.
20:21
Update: Party at Nate's place last night... Eddy and I decided the place seemed so darned Christmas-y that we needed a gift exchange. I gave Eddy my Ocean's 11 ticket stub, and he gave me a dime. We also realized we'd both written Mark birthday e-mails that said something to the effect of: "Bluemountain.com is charging! Screw that! You're getting an e-mail instead."
17:09
New megaphone.
16:54
"I wonder what it'd be like to be physically stimulated most of the day, in all social situations." -- Eliina, on couples that grope in public
02:46
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