[writing]
Life plans: The Groups: TRIP MOTTO:
Schno: Nobel Prize-winning neurosurgeon, living in the mountains or Boston
Kim: Performing with London Symphony
Deanna: Own ad firm with Beth (and as many other friends as possible)
Lindsay: Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist with private helicopter (of course)
Sarah: geologist or archaeologist like Indiana Jones
Death Plans:
Schno: Irish Sea
Kim: latch onto Schno as he drowns
Balunis: Terrorist attack
Sarah: Knife fight on playground
Deanna and Lindsay: Sole survivors
Illnesses and Injuries:
Katie: swollen glands, flu-like symptoms
Malissa: see above
Balunis: cut eye in rugby, required three stiches
Sarah: hurt knee jumping off bronze lion
Kim: has a cold
Katie: sick again...
Lindsay: lost in Dublin (mental trauma)
Things that have gone wrong:
--Plane out of Toronto was delayed two hours because of no power to the left wing, then it began to snow, so the plane had to be de-iced
--Plane out of London was delayed one hour- suspected bomb
--Our tour bus's back wheel wobbled constantly
--Practically every sight in Wales was closed until after Easter
--Mrs. Sewell got completely lost in Beaumaris and couldn't find the courthouse for half an hour
--Mrs. Sewell kept switching our morning meeting place before we left for tours
--Mrs. Sewell booked Electric Mountain tour- we didn't want to go
--Dewi, Ceri, Malissa and Erin weren't allowed into the Octagon
--Balunis, Ceri, Dewi and Schno didn't meet Kim, Sian and Lindsay in Bangor
--Kim and the entire Merion incident- especially the “knife” part
--Balunis could NOT find a sweater for Mommy
--Deanna almost got run over by a bus during one of Mrs. Sewell's “shopping” stops
--The Thunder Road Cafe didn't get paid in full
--Temple Bar hotel was in prime location by bars and resulting drunks
--Curtain fell down in Sarah and Dee's room
--Lindsay got left at the hotel in Dublin
--Tour of Dublin was the most boring tour in known history
--Ferry delayed 20 minutes on return trip to Anglesey
--Henry VIII Hotel was, well, you know, falling apart
--We couldn't dress up to see Les Mis
--Balunis walked home from art museum so he could keep the cab fare
--London Symphony turned out to be only £5
--Every milkshake we had was just flavored milk - even the “extra thick” ones
--Kim and Lindsay never received their wake-up call the day we left London
--Balunis's bag was lost by the airline
--Paris hotel conveniently located next to Red Light District
--Democrats were almost mugged by twelve year-olds
--Mrs. Doerr's husband died
--Mr. Bogey lost (or never had?) the ability to navigate
--Notre Dame Cathedral was closed
--We couldn't find the crepe stand anywhere
--We couldn't order food in French
--Seating was all messed up on the plane home-one seat was not even reserved
--On the plane, Deanna had a special no-beef meal even when the regular meal had no beef
--Stewardess kept passing Deanna, Schno and Lindsay with the drink cart
--Lindsay almost lost her passport
--Balunis's bag got to Paris the day we left
--Major fight when we got to Toronto
The Democrats: Huw, Dewey, Ceri, Melissa, Erin, Catrin, Malissa, Katie, Llinos, Lowri, Awel
The Republicans: Deanna, Angela, Sarah C., Sarah H., Kim, Sian, Schno, Lindsay
The Independant (sometimes): Balunis
The Food:
Cheese and butter sandwiches (in fact, everything had butter on it)
Miniature fruit
Scones
Fish & Chips
Tea
Mint Kit-Kats (that everyone gave to Lindsay)
Polo Mints (that Kim was addicted to)
Cadbury chocolate bars
Oh, yeah, and CADBURY CREME EGGS
Glossary (U.K vs. U.S.):
tea- dinner
knackered- tired
moidering- rambling on about nothing
cheeky- adj. rude
gobsmacking- adj. absolutely fabulous
bogey- booger
bogey man- boogey man
mum- mother
car park- parking lot
football- soccer
crisps- potato chips
chips- french fries
fancy- to Like (notice the capital “L”)
lovely- cute
bloke- guy (synonym: lad)
get pissed- get drunk
nice- used constantly in place of “good”
posh- snobby
aluminum- pronounced “al-loo-MIN-yum”
casualty- emergency room
Nike- rhymes with “hike”
jam- jelly
jelly- Jell-O
leisure- pronounced LEH-sure
boot- trunk of a car
trainers- sneakers
snog- french kiss
take the mick/piss out of someone- make fun of someone
bap- roll
lift- elevator
cafe- pronounced CAF-ee (don't we love this one, kids?)
pavement- sidewalk
Opal Fruits- Starbursts
pens- markers
P.E.- gym
telly- TV
trousers- pants
lemonade- 7-Up
Hotel Evaluation (survey done by Kim):
Temple Bar:
Good:
clean rooms, nice personell at desk, English-speaking people, large breakfast
Bad:
mean bartender, bad location, mean waitress at breakfast
Overall: 8 out of 10
Henry VIII:
Good (I know it's hard to believe):
recent movies, nice people at reception, pretty-looking restaurant, friendly little waiter man, located by Hyde Park
Bad:
bars on windows, icky skylights, drunks in lobby, chunk missing from Kim and Lindsay's wall, bathroom walls were held up by caulk, Bogey's toilet not held down, ratty bedspreads, small rooms, warm and cold water wouldn't mix in shower, sagging beds. uneven floors, located near slums, agressive elevator
Overall: 3.5 out of 10
Comfort Inn Montmarte:
Good:
clean rooms, newly renovated, English-speaking personell, good breakfast, located near subway
Bad:
attacking showers, locks difficult to open, only two English TV channels, rooms were too warm, rooms were fairly small
Overall: 6 out of 10
Everyone's Favorite Sayings:
Kim: "Doh"; "my bad"; "it's all good"; "sweet!"; "bluh bluh bluh bluh" (whatever that means)
Deanna: "Yay. Yay for you"; "that, too."; "booger"; "excuuuse me"
Sarah: "whatevah"; "not a problem"; "it works."
Schno: "I am upset."
Deanna's List of Letters to Write:
1) Dear Cadbury, Please fill your giant Easter eggs with cream and bring your popular chocolate bars (Flake, Twirl, etc.) to the US.
2) Dear Temple Bar Hotel, Your personell are nasty.
3) Dear Henry VIII Hotel, Your hotel basically sucked.
4) Dear Travel Agency that booked this trip, Why didn't you look a little closer at the Henry VIII hotel before you recommended it?
5) Dear Angus Steakhouse, Where do I begin? Well, your pizza is gross, your milkshakes are runny, and your waiters really should speak clear English.
6) Dear Steve's Ice Cream, You ripped of Ben & Jerry's flavors and personality.
7) Dear British Airways- There's no need for a no-beef meal when the regular meal doesn't contain beef.
Quotes:
"I've been planning this trip for hours since last May!" -Mr. Bogey
"I'm retiring. I don't care what I say." -Mr. Bogey
"WHERE'S MY WIFE??!" -Mr. Bogey
"That reminds me of the song "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" [begins to sing]. I don't."-Mr. Bogey
"Did she come here to see Europe or take pictures?" -Mr. Bogey (about his wife)
"She'll do anything for a picture." -Mr. Bogey (about his wife)
"You're being counter-productive. There's no point blaming anyone now." -Mr. Bogey (when Lindsay got left behind)
"I feel like I have12 children. I always wanted 12 children." -Mrs. Bogey
"Anyone like a Tic Tac?" -Mrs. Bogey
"Don't let Andrew into the sex shops, Erik." -Mrs. Bogey
"Well, everyone said they wanted to go, so I booked the tour." -Mrs. Sewell (about the Electric Mountain)
"I like THAT fish." -Balunis
"I think all Welsh people are dumb." -Balunis
"15 minutes of sex, sex, sex." -Balunis (about the Red Light District)
"YE-ah, YE-ah. Hell, YE-ah." -Balunis
"Mommy ain't small." -Balunis
"When in doubt, do as the Romans do." -Kim
"Yeah, we were getting it on on a pool table!" -Kim
"I have to go back to birth control now." -Kim
"I've got my knife." -Sarah
"Anybody wanna go climbing?" -Sarah
"Um, I. . . kicked their soccer ball over the fence." -Sarah
"The intelligence level in this room just keeps sinking." -Deanna
"Grab ‘im!" -Deanna and Lindsay
"I've had too little sleep to be pleasant about this." -Schno
"Let me consider." -Schno
"I am upset." -Schno (completely monotone, no emotion)
"You realize this has only increased your popularity." -Schno (to Balunis about his eye)
"No comment." -Sian
"Look like you own the place." -Sian (about the Octagon)
"I haven't got a clue." -Sian
"I have never been so glad to see you guys in my entire life!" -Lindsay
"Uh-oh, I think I lost my . . ." -Lindsay
"Sheep on a . . ." -Everyone
"I am a poet. I am very fond of bananas." -Sarah, Deanna, and Lindsay
OH MY FREAKING GOD!
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